"Patriarchy has no gender." ~Bell Hooks
I don't know who else is still around the fandomsphere that may read this. The few people I was close to here I've connected with on Facebook, and real life has a taken a toll on all of us in different ways. But writing out Part 3 was always my unfinished business, and at least now I have a slightly more mature head that can finally finish this up.
Today I was re-reading Part 1, Part 2, and the comments. A few things I've realized:
-I think my writing was semi-shitty. I'm probably being too hard myself, but there's a few spots that I want to edit when I have the time.
-My arguments in the comments were even more shitty, and that's just truth. Some of them make me cringe just looking at them
-I, along with many others, delved too much into comparing Muggle discrimination in the HPverse to real life racism, to the point where it was kind of offensive in itself. And most of it was done by non-POC's fighting with non-POC's. The books do a good enough job of setting up muggle discrimination and blood status within its own world. If people are going to deny the conflicts of the story, there's nothing else that can be done. And in many ways, real life racism doesn't even compare to what's in the books.
But what got me so angry and motivated back then and to rant and argue with a whole bunch of strangers was that I was hurt. I was hurt by seeing Lily referred to as a gold digger, as a bitch, as an unforgiving naive girl who stayed unforgiving and naive till the day she died. I was hurt seeing a girl labeled as cruel and hard to deal with for trying to defend herself. I was hurt by seeing all these insults coming from fellow women. And most of all, while all of this was going on, a fictional man who who was just as cruel and emotionally selfish as Lily was claimed to be, who was cruel to the son of the woman he was supposed to love and used his authority as a teacher to do so, was praised to no end by the same people. That he deserved forgiveness for things he was never sorry about until the very last minute when the woman he loved was at risk. Women fawned over him, and some even claimed to be in love with him. (HE'S NOT EVEN REAL!!)
It hurt going into almost every Snape forum, which most people do for their favorite characters, and not feeling safe.
And it still hurts today, because I'm still seeing it. I'm seeing it in discussions of other female characters in other fandoms when it involves the love and/or actions of men. And with what's been going on the last 4 years, I'm seeing it even more in real life. Women's choices are still being debated for whether or not they should be legal by a bunch of mostly white men. Teenage girls who have been raped are being demonized, to the point of being driven to suicide, while their rapists are still roaming free. And in some cases the rapists are being protected by their school and community. And even after they're caught, the journalists who are reporting on their trials are feeling sorry for them for the punishments they have to face. I see it when my girlfriends, who are in their 30's/married/living on their own still complain about their brothers or even their husbands getting special treatment and expectations from their own families. I see it when I now have friends and family who have been victims of abuse and sexual assault, and their male perpetrators still think they've done nothing wrong. I still see women demonizing other women with the same patriarchal attitudes we think can only be executed by men. Women are still in danger, both physically and emotionally.
The list can go on. We are still continuously attacking our women.
I admit, I had a bad habit of arguing with people back then. I still do. But with the few regrets I have for all my past antics, I'm glad I wrote what I did. Because It still needs to be said, because the examples I gave in Part 1 and Part 2 are still happening 4 years later.
To anyone who is reading this, who is still seeing the same things I see in both fandom and real life, who are still fighting (and I see you guys still fighting), I wish you all the strength to keep going. And that anything I've said here or in my past posts inspires you to do so.
I find it a coincidence that I decide to post this last night, and I find out just minutes ago that COS is closing today for good. This is an end of an era.